Andrew is a human adult dummy.

Writer
ax.crawford [at] gmail [dot] com
Please support real art. Send our troops home.

Please support real art. Send our troops home.

Real art has the power to heal, if we just let it. End the conflict in Gaza.

Real art has the power to heal, if we just let it. End the conflict in Gaza.

Breaking Down Cultural Barriers: The Plight of the Italian

  • Person #1: What did you do for Memorial Day?
  • Italian: Forget about it!
  • Person #2: Did you get me something for our anniversary?
  • Italian: Forget about it!
  • Person #3: Have you been to the new 9/11 Memorial?
  • Italian: Forget about it!
  • Person #4: Have you been to the Alamo?
  • Italian: Forget about it!
  • Person #5: Did you know it's the fifth of November today?
  • Italian: Forget about it!
  • Sarah McLachlan: Will you remember me?
  • Italian: Forget about it!
  • Person #6: Have you seen 'Remember the Titans'?
  • Italian: Forget about it!
  • Person #7: Were you aware that Alzheimer's is a type of dementia that causes problems with memory?
  • Italian: Forget about it!
  • People (incl. Sarah McLachlan): Do you remember anything?!
  • Italian: Forget about it!
  • People: Aw, you crazy Italians!
  • Me: Remember everyone, it's cool to be different, and it's also cool to learn about different cultures : )
The Thomas Crown Renaissance Fair

The Thomas Crown Renaissance Fair

Mime of Mencia
Happy belated Mother’s Day, everyone.

Mime of Mencia

Happy belated Mother’s Day, everyone.

  • Jesus: Hi, men.
  • Disciple 1: Hello.
  • Disciple 2: Hi!
  • Disciple 3: Hey there.
  • Disciple 4: Hola.
  • Disciple 5: Oh, hi.
  • Disciple 6: Howdy.
  • Disciple 7: Hey, you.
  • Disciple 8: Hihihihi!
  • Disciple 9: Hello, hello.
  • Disciple 10: Hiya.
  • Disciple 11: Hey.
  • Disciple 12: Well hello!
  • Jesus: Oh, no, I wasn't saying "hi, men," I was saying "hymen."
  • European: To know me is to walk a kilometer in my shoes.
  • Person: How long is a kilometer?
  • European: Walk until you understand.
  • Person: Right, but isn't there a standard measurement for how long a kilometer is?
  • European: No. No one knows how long a kilometer is.
  • Person: So if to know you is to walk a kilometer in your shoes, but no one knows how long a kilometer actually is, then no one knows themselves?
  • European: Correct. In Europe, we're very confused and very sad, but we do have high-speed trains.

I bet the reason God flooded the Earth was because he knew that the water would eventually evaporate, so there wouldn’t be a huge mess to clean up (like if it was a big tornado, hurricane or volcano eruption), and that a flood would also still do a good job at killing everyone.

rodblackhurst:

Last fall my friends and I made this atmospheric, dramatic thriller short film ALONE TIME.  It would be awesome if you’d watch it, and then share it with your friends.   

The film stars Rose Hemingway who is a Broadway star and an all around amazing woman.  

If you like videos, you’ll like this video.

Here is my submission to a NPR Three-Minute Fiction mini-contest. The prompt was to write a story in 50 words or less that involved a father in some way. It didn’t win.

Like God broke a thermometer and let the mercury roll, the sun filled the land’s wounds silver. The boy watched the world inch by and behind. He hadn’t been on a plane before. He was happy then that his dad lived away so he could always be on a plane.